Author Archive for flamingoshovel

26
Jan
08

The Epic Adventure’s of Scooter and Elmer: Part I

Cricklandia
Thousands of years ago, before the birth of Christ and the Ancient Greeks there was a small village. This village was small with only about one hundred and twenty people residing in it. It was calm, peaceful and everyone was happy. This village was called Cricksville. Cricksville was a village of only crickets. The crickets were content with what they had and did not ask for much more than food and shelter. On one hot summer day two crickets by the name’s of Achimi and Shimimi had a son by the name of Jiminy. The birth was an unusual for Jiminy was born without a leg. A day after Jiminy’s birth his parents found him floating somehow in his room.
Jiminy was an unusual child. He did not have many friends and always took notes on whatever he saw. The village always thought of Jiminy as an odd child. Many thought he could summon the plants to help him. As Jiminy grew older he was not interested in helping his parents gathering food or building houses for the growing cricket population. All Jiminy focused on was his observations on other crickets. He learned a great deal from his observations. Jiminy learned that crickets were a very aggressive people and that they were very sociable. They were hard – working and unforgiving.
When Jiminy was a full grown cricket the population of Cricksville had flourished from 120 to 9160. The village had grown to a busy city and the name had been changed from Cricksville to Crickatopia. The city through many people’s eyes seemed perfect and the government rigid but just. Jiminy had been elected as part into the Crickatopian senate. While the rest of the government focused on being “progressive” Jiminy focused on the security and the safety of the people. The government did not like Jiminy and believed him to be a crazy cricket. A year had passed and Jiminy had built up the Crickatopian army and fortified the city. The government stopped him from his so called crazy actions. They kicked Jiminy off the Crickatopian senate and banned him from ever returning. Jiminy knew though that war was immanent with the Cricket colony in the west because of his studies of the crickets.
Months passed and the walls of the city torn and the army severely scaled down. All the crickets were happy because now they could focus on more “progressive” thoughts about cricket relations and such. The day of Jiminy’s birthday the crickets from the western colony attacked. Everyone was scared and the government did not know what to do. The only person they could rely on was Jiminy. Jiminy agreed to return, but only if they made him ruler of Crickatopia. They agreed and Jiminy started to build the army again. The war between Crickatopia and the western colony (Now known as the “that one war that no one really cares about”) raged on for years. Jiminy struggled to keep his army afloat. Finally, seven years after the war had begun Jiminy unleashed an attack so powerful on the opposing colony that they caved and surrendered. Jiminy had won his first of many wars. Crickatopia now went by the name of Cricklandia because they knew their society wasn’t perfect and that they didn’t live in a utopia. Crickatopia took over the western colony and thus the “Great Cricklandian Empire” was created.
-Alex Barbarian
25
Jan
08

Comic 6

comic-6.jpg

-Alex Barbarian

25
Jan
08

hallucinations are fun!

here are 20 fun facts about finals week:

1)im pretty sure it takes 10 years off your life

2)im pretty sure i have gained 10 pounds

3)many people wear clothes 5 sizes to big this glorious week

4)stress is at an overwhelming level

5)you loose your ability to write, read, and speak english

6)you make yourself believe you are a loser and are bound to fail

7)you leave your glasses at home the day of your hardest final (note: you cant see)

8)only 15 minutes is added to each period, but it feels like 3 extra hours

9)everything you studied you forget

10)everything you didnt study you don’t know

11)you are almost positive your teacher rigged this so everyone fails

12)you have a song stuck in your head that makes you tap your foot

13)this distracts you and pisses people off around you

14)you think about everything but the test

15)everyone but the test

16)and make up your own slang

17)you come to the realization you should have payed attention in class…

18)you forget to turn in your lab and a lot of other things

19)you have massive mood swings (and no, you aren’t pregnant)

20)and finally you pass out at like 9:30, forgetting to study for tomorrow’s exam…

chao lovies, kattie

24
Jan
08

Comic 5!

comic-5.jpg

-Alex Barbarian

23
Jan
08

Philosophical Statements Part 2

I told you I had more of these coming! Here they are:

1. pens have ink assuming that they are pens

2. emo people are gay

3. dirt is not a force to be dealt with

4. king kong is a giant ape

5. godzilla is a giant lizard

6. Chuck Norris can rape both king kong and godzilla blindfolded

7. babies are fun

8. old people are not

9. Mandy Moore ruins it for everyone

10. Oprah Winfrey eats a tub of lard everday cuz thats how she rolls

11. the three amigos is one of the best movies made ever

12. Zombies ARE good for your health

13. the south pole is NOT the north pole

14. anteater = gay

15. Rosie O Donnell = Gay

16. Rosie O Donnell riding on an anteater = awesome!

17. cell phones are telephones that are cellular

18. this is number 18

19. disco will return

20. french are gay

22
Jan
08

die carrot man!

i found this on google and had to share

chao lovies, kattie

22
Jan
08

Comic #4

comic-4.jpg

-Alex Barbarian

21
Jan
08

Philosophical Statements

Have you ever wondered about the mysteries that surround us?  The questions that all of us ponder at?  Well I know I have and here are a few of my little “philosophical statements” that I think of at different times of my life.  Expect a lot of these in the future because my mind thinks up a lot of this stuff. Oh and if your French, don’t read number 20.

1. stop signs are cool when they’re pillows
2. stop signs suck when they’re real
3. mice are gray
4. sometimes they’re not though
5. time warner digital cable kicks dish networks and direct TV’s ass
6. flashlights suck because of the batteries
7. the inventor of batteries is Satan’s nephew
8. will smith is men in black
9. Tommy Lee Jones should be will smiths sidekick
10. Chuck Norris will rule the world.
11. Because of the above statement we can safely deduce Chuck Norris is awesome.
12. The Brady Bunch kill The Partridge Family
13. Hitler was a Nazi
14. The Olson twins love Hitler
15. The Olson twins are Nazi’s
16. Everyone has a love-hate relationship with index cards
17. Referring to gays as homosexuals is gay
18. Sticks and stones may break your bones only if someone throws them at you
19. if they do you don’t cry like the French. You throw sticks and stones back at them
20.  French are gay

-Alex Barbarian

20
Jan
08

my rendezvous with the barbershoppers

last night i went to a novice quartet competition, expecting it to be like every other barbershop event but many things set it apart from the rest. was it the fact i was tagging until 1 in the morning? no. that a 16 year old and 25 year old “hooked up”, as the young folks say, no not even that (i yelled at them, don’t worry). it was the grouping of people, brought together by their love for music, sharing songs and singing together. meeting new people, and not getting home until 2 in the morning. singing for hours on end, getting odd stares from the gangsters driving by. celebrating barbershop and all its glory. what is the moral to the story? barbershop is good and underage “hooking up” leads to kattie yelling at you and embarassing questions.

chao lovies, kattie

20
Jan
08

Comic 3

Why won’t you give me any constructive criticism?!comic-3.jpg

-Alex Barbarian